Keeping a Spiritual Diary
St Thérèse said once: ‘Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by scattering flowers and these flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love.’ Her approach to living the Christian life was above all practical, simple and accessible to everybody.
St Thérèse was a true prophet and ahead of her time in so many ways, as, for example, in her understanding that the Holy Spirit could speak to her, console her and comfort her through the Bible. She turned often to the Sacred Scriptures and received from them great assurance, confidence, knowledge and understanding of the love God had for her. Reflecting on her approach to the spiritual life she wrote:
‘Sometimes, when I read spiritual treatises, in which perfection is shown with a thousand obstacles in the way and a host of illusions round about it, my poor little mind soon grows weary, I close the learned book, which leaves my head splitting and my heart parched, and I take the Holy Scriptures. Then all seems luminous, a single word opens up infinite horizons to my soul, perfection seems easy; I see that it is enough to realize one’s nothingness, and give oneself wholly, like a child, into the arms of the good God. Leaving to great souls, great minds, the fine books I cannot understand, I rejoice to be little because ‘only children, and those who are like them, will be admitted to the heavenly banquet’.
The key to understanding St Thérèse is to see that at the very centre, the very core of her life, her raison d’être if you like, was her acute sense that her vocation was above all to pray and commune with God. It was in and through prayer that she took up the habit of writing down what the Lord was saying to her. She described prayer in these terms:
‘For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward Heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy; in a word, something noble, supernatural, which enlarges my soul and unites it to God...I have not the courage to look through books for beautiful prayers...I do as a child who has not learned to read, I just tell our Lord all that I want and He understands.’
It was her superiors who instructed her to keep a spiritual journal recording her thoughts and reflections about life, the religious life, overcoming sin and loving God. She began work on it in 1895 and, despite failing health and through the help of others, especially her sister Pauline who was also a Carmelite, was able to complete what in effect became her autobiography before her untimely death on 30 September 1897 at the tender age of twenty-four. Her last words, spoken looking at her crucifix, were: ‘Oh…I love him…My God….I love thee.’ After her death her book The Story of a Soul became a best-selling spiritual classic.
Along with St Francis of Assisi (whose feast we also celebrate this month – 4 October), St Thérèse of Lisieux is one of the most popular and accessible saints canonized by the Catholic Church. We owe her a great debt, not least because she wrote down her thoughts, reflections and insight from which millions upon millions have drawn strength, comfort and consolation and will do so for thousands of years to come. She had that rare skill of capturing in a few short pithy sentences or phrases the essential and fundamental teachings of faith. She knew with utter certainty that she was justified before God not by her works or her deeds or her actions but rather by God’s mercy and love, and upon this she trusted and put her faith in.
‘At the close of life’s evening I shall appear before Thee with empty hands, for I ask not, Lord, that Thou wouldst count my works...All our justice is tarnished in Thy sight. It is therefore my desire to be clothed with Thine own Justice and to receive from Thy Love the eternal possession of Thyself. I crave no other Throne nor other Crown but Thee, O my Beloved!’
The occasion of this great saint’s feast day on 1 October gives us an opportunity to celebrate her life and reflect on it as a model for our own. We can also strive to emulate her discipline of examining her life and reflecting on her thoughts, words and deeds, and those of us who feel we want to can give consideration to the idea of following her example of keeping a spiritual diary as a record of our own walk with God.
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