Bible Alive met up with Barry and Margaret Mizen in their home in Lee.
Margaret began by sharing how the day of Jimmy’s death was just an ordinary day.
‘It was actually just an ordinary Saturday morning in many ways. It was one of those mornings when it was difficult to get on and get going. I remember sitting on the edge of the settee watching an omnibus edition of one of the soaps with my daughter Samantha.
Jimmy had gone down to the local café with his brother Tommy and a friend for some breakfast. When Jimmy returned he wanted to know about the lottery and how to play it. He had turned 16 the day before and wanted to play the lottery as it was something he could do as a 16 year old. He went with Harry to buy the ticket and then went with him into the Three Cooks Bakery to get a sandwich, just a few yards down from where they had bought the Lottery ticket.
Around 11.45am I got a phone call from a friend who lives opposite the bakery saying, ‘Quickly get round the corner Jimmy’s been attacked.’ I ran round as quickly as I could. Harry, who was in the shop with Jimmy, had called Tommy his older brother who came immediately as well. Jimmy’s attacker had inflicted a mortal wound and had fled the scene. Tommy got there first and saw his brother lying on the bakery floor. He did everything he possibly could to help stem the flow of blood and cradled Jimmy, but he died in his arms.
I arrived at the bakery and to be honest I just felt sick and thought this can’t be happening, it’s like a cloud in your head, and you’re thinking, ‘Am I dreaming this, it can’t be happening to me.’ But all the way through it, and even now, I felt as though Jimmy was being lifted up to heaven. It’s the most horrendous feeling of utter disbelief and utter nightmare where your only thought is, this is not happening.
My first reaction, or call it an instinct, was to try and get hold of my parish priest. I am really close to Fr Edward. I phoned him immediately and remember thinking to myself: ‘Fr Edward where are you, I need you urgently.’ Then I realized that he was in Aylesford and had taken the Confirmation children there for the day. A message was able to get through to him and he returned immediately. I needed Jimmy to have a blessing, but because it was a murder scene they wouldn’t let us have it initially. I kept saying to them, ‘Please, please, let my priest anoint the body of my son.’ They did eventually and as Jimmy’s body was taken away from the crime scene between 7-8pm that evening, they allowed his body to be anointed.
When they finally took Jimmy’s body away I just felt so numb. I just had an overwhelming sense of disbelief about what was happening to us. However, despite this I trusted in God to look after him and we knew he was up there with my Mum and Dad and we just had a sense that we would all see Jimmy again.
Jimmy had great faith in God and wasn’t embarrassed by it at all. When Barry and I would do the daily readings in the morning Jimmy would come down for breakfast and more often than not would just listen and join in. Jimmy was a very caring and kind young man. We had a next door neighbour, a very elderly lady and he would cut her grass and he’d think nothing of just sitting and talking to her. He was very helpful to everyone.
Barry says: ‘You know when he was here in the evening he would take himself off to bed but before he went up he’d say, “Good night mum and dad.” I’d say, : “Good night son, God bless you Jim.” And Jimmy would say, “Yeah and you too Mum and Dad.” This was a ritual and he wasn’t afraid to show his love and he was very affectionate. I do so miss him.’
When bad or evil things happen to good people the question hangs: ‘Where was God?’ or ‘Why did God let this happen?’ Margaret says: ‘Barry and I never asked: “Why Jimmy?” We just thought: “Why not me? What makes me any different from anybody else? We are not special, why shouldn’t it be me? Why shouldn’t it be my family? Why should it be anyone else’s family?” I know this may be hard to understand but that’s how we felt. Also I don’t think people understood when I said that I didn’t blame the parents of the boy who killed Jimmy.
‘I am a mother and I felt concern for the mother but I can’t explain why I had that concern but I did and do. We don’t know them but they don’t live far from here. I don’t know about their situation. They might be really nice, decent people and their son has gone off the rails, who are we to judge? I believe in all my heart that the only person who can do any judging is God. I mean people tell me you’re great to forgive, but I don’t know if I’ve forgiven yet to be honest. I need justice for what happened to Jimmy, but I’m not looking for revenge, I just want justice. Also suppose the young man who killed Jimmy is sorry and remorseful for what he had done. I can’t say but the one person who does know is God and we must allow that to happen if that’s God’s will.’
Margaret and Barry spoke to the media during the days after Jimmy’s death and the spotlight was very much on them: ‘We speak from our hearts. All I know is that it is my faith which has played a big part in all that’s happened to Jimmy, because I know that I would never have coped without it. This isn’t always easy, however, and there are times when I am tempted to say: “I’ve had enough, I’m going to go to bed and I don’t want to get out of bed again.” And sometimes when I think about what’s happened to Jimmy I just want to crawl into a hole, but I pray, I pray to the Holy Spirit, and I am comforted and uplifted and somehow receive the strength to cope.
‘Jimmy’s murder was an act of violence. We can take all the knives off the street but it’s not the knives, it’s the anger and the violence that’s the problem. We were at a protest recently and there was a lot of heckling and shouting down Gordon Brown, but that to me is just more anger and aggression and we’re supposed to be there on a peaceful march. It’s like the blame game: “Who do we blame?” But I believe GK Chesterton was right when he said: “What’s wrong with the world? I am.” We all need to be doing something together as a society and there’s no good shouting at the police or shouting at the Prime Minister or shouting at the local Mayor. We need to work with them and do something together – if we work against them we’re going to lose the battle. For Barry and I the big thing or message is: find your faith. I am not ashamed to say it. Jimmy was proud of his faith and he wasn’t bothered by what people thought.
‘Our son has gone to a better place and I can get up in the mornings and I know he’s safe. I’m not just saying it, I don’t have to worry. I know where he is, he’s with God, with my Mum and Dad, of that I am absolutely sure. I know too that Mary will be looking after him in heaven. I know he’s safe and I know I will see him again and that will keep us going. I think of Mary when Jesus died on the cross and the pain she went through and I’ve never really thought about it before in the way that I have now.’
Barry says: ‘We feel it’s important to Jimmy’s memory that something positive comes out of this. We feel if there’s a role to play, whether it’s nationally or within our own catholic faith, we feel more than prepared to do that. We want to talk about our faith because all the way through it’s helped and guided us. We don’t understand how people cope in life without faith.’
Jake Fahri, 19 of Lee, South East London was remanded in custody and will stand trail for the murder of Jimmy Mizen at the Old Bailey on March 11, 2009.
Tommy Mizen, composed a beautiful song called Sparkle in tribute to his brother which he sang at Jimmy’s funeral.
A CD of Sparkle can be purchased:
Download from itunes for 79p
Or make enquiries at:
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Or for a hard copy write to:
Tommy Mizen, 11 Dallinger Road,
Lee, London, SE12 OTJ
Cost £4 (includes p&p)
Cheques payable to:
Jimmy Bus Appeal
