More than a million ordinary Mass-goers were consulted…and the uncomfortable finding was that many members of the Church felt isolated, uncared-for and – yes – even unwelcome in their local parish.
The discovery was a wake-up call for the Church, and around England and Wales dioceses sprang into action to work out how they could put gospel teaching into effect, and improve their welcome-skills. In one diocese, Salford, every parish made a huge ‘Welcome’ banner which was hung in the church porch. Other dioceses held consultations on how to make people feel more included at parish level, while some brought in outside facilitators to devise better welcome strategies.
The uncomfortable finding was that many members of the Church felt isolated, uncared-for and – yes – even unwelcome in their local parish.
Five years on, the bishops have yet to evaluate the scheme – but there’s plenty of good news, says Elizabeth Davies, Project Officer for the Marriage and Family Life department of the Bishops’ Conference, and the person responsible for encouraging parishes to look seriously at how welcoming they were. According to Elizabeth, getting parishes to focus on how they looked to incomers has had beneficial effects over and above making outsiders feel at home – in many areas, the results can be seen in more vibrant communities as well as ones that are more understanding of the need and quicker to extend a welcoming hand to newcomers.
The truth is, she says, that being welcoming underpins almost everything that happens in a parish – after all, being genuinely open is the first duty of any evangelizing Christian community. ‘No one was trying to be closed or unfriendly, but too many places hadn’t realized how they might look from the outside,’ says Elizabeth. The report on the bishops’ consultation process, ‘Not easy but full of meaning’, pointed out that ‘knowing one another at more than a superficial level is vital if we are to understand and respond to each other’s needs and strengths. If we feel welcome, and accepted for who we are, then our parish family is more likely to be a place we can turn to in times of joy and sorrow as well as a place where we are receptive to further opportunities for growth.’ Making the most marginalized individuals and families feel at home was identified by the report as the litmus test of a parish with good welcoming skills – so five years on, how are they performing?
In a huge majority of parishes, says Elizabeth, the bishops’ call to action led to initiatives that have enhanced parish life – for everyone, not just new arrivals. As well as the Salford banners there were overhauled websites, and many parishes put together welcome leaflets or packs. Some communities, either at parish or diocesan level, organized special days to look at the welcome ministry. ‘Where parishes actually appoint an individual or individuals to develop a strategy for making people feel welcome from the moment they step through the church door, that’s making an important statement about how crucial this work is,’ she says.
What was clear in many parishes was that a welcome ministry was a great deal more important now than it had been in the past – traditionally, there was a lot less migration into and out of parishes. Also, the secular neighbourhood traditionally provided a lot more support – and these were two big reasons why it was time for parishes to take the initiative. St Bernadette’s in Whitefield, outside Manchester, was one of the many churches to embrace the challenge – it had a regular influx of new parishioners, especially families, says its parish priest, Fr Christopher Lough…but these incomers weren’t always being met with outstretched arms.
‘What we realized was that although we felt like a warm, friendly place, that’s not how it seemed to everyone,’ says Fr Lough. ‘And there were some sorts of people – those who were on their own, widows, people without children – who were far less likely to feel swept up in our parish life.’
The community decided to tackle the problem by hosting a visit from Fr Peter McGrath, a Passionist based in Australia who devised a system of ‘family groups’ to make parishes more inclusive. ‘He explained to us that it’s important for these groups to be a mix of families and single people, young and old – in fact, they need to reflect the diversity of the community as much as possible,’ says Fr Lough.
‘No one was trying to be closed or unfriendly, but too many places hadn’t realized how they might look from the outside.’
‘We initially established four family groups, and we now have six. Each one consists of between twelve and fifteen individuals and will sometimes include whole families. We discourage people from joining a family group that contains people who are already close friends or relations – the whole point of the exercise is to realize that we’re all part of the same family, whether or not we’re genetically related or have other things in common.’
The family groups have, says Fr Lough, been a huge success – and he’s convinced they’ve added greatly both to the life of the parish and to the overall impression that visitors, as well as incomers, are given. ‘They’ve made us much more aware of the needs of other people who aren’t exactly like us,’ he says. ‘And of course, in themselves they’re an excellent vehicle for making people feel at home. If you move into our area and you’re a Catholic, what better start could there be for you than to join one of our family groups, which will immediately give you links with a wide range of people across all age groups of the community? It’s a real way in to being part of an area – why wouldn’t you feel welcome, and why wouldn’t you join?’
What many of the survey respondents in 2004 told the bishops was that they felt unwelcome because Church teaching didn’t validate their life choices – but there again, says Elizabeth Davies, making people feel at home and cared-for means they are more likely to find they can live as single parents, for example, because they feel supported and looked after by the wider community. ‘Whatever situation people are in, there’s everything to be gained by making them feel they are accepted,’ she says. ‘And it’s important, too, to help people realize they’re not alone – there are other people out there with problems, and in fact all of us have problems to battle with at some point or other. It’s not as though it’s about “us” and “them” – we all have hurdles to get across, and this initiative is about agreeing to go together across the hurdles.’
How to be a more welcoming parish
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